Modern Parenting BC: Felix's Brooklyn Memorial

A Celebration of Life Memorial

Prelude/Gathering Music

Opening Words

We gather this afternoon to grieve the loss of Felix Brow-Westbrook. Beloved son, brother, friend. Here we will have space together to mourn, to cry. But we also gather so that we might remember, share and celebrate Felix’ life. Today, we have an opportunity to give thanks for the way Felix’ life touched each of yours and so many more. We affirm that Felix will live on in the minds and hearts of all those who knew and loved him.

Death has brought us together this afternoon, but so has the need to honor an amazing human whose life and passions created beauty and wonder in this world. We gather to remember but also to offer comfort to each other, and to remind ourselves that we each grieve in our own ways and in our own time; may all find comfort and peace and hope in the embrace of this gathered community.

Chalice Lighting

In our Unitarian Universalist tradition, we open our services with a chalice lighting. The chalice is a symbol of hope, of light in the darkness. It also symbolizes the divine spark in each of us, the best in each of us. This morning, we light our chalice as symbol of Felix’ spark: the life, light, joy, beauty, and love he brought to so many.

As Felix’ brothers light the chalice, I offer you the words of Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist peace activist.

Oneness

Thich Nhat Hanh

The moment I die I will try to come back to you as quickly as possible. I promise it will not take long. Isn't it true I am already with you, as I die each moment? I come back to you in every moment. Just look, feel my presence. If you want to cry, please cry. And know that I will cry with you. The tears you shed will heal us both. Your tears are mine. The earth I tread this morning transcends history. Spring and Winter are both present in the moment. The young leaf and the dead leaf are really one. My feet touch deathlessness, and my feet are yours. Walk with me now. Let us enter the dimension of oneness and see the cherry tree blossom in Winter. Why should we talk about death? I don't need to die to be back with you.

Music

I call it the Cloud Atlas Sextet. There are whole movements imagining us meeting again and again in different lives, different ages

Robert Frobisher in Cloud Atlas

Cloud Atlas Sextet

This music was chosen by Felix's friend Walter. They were taking turns reading the book Cloud Atlas aloud in the weeks prior to Felix's passing. They never did finish the book.

A half finished book is, after all, a half finished love affair

David Mitchell from Cloud Atlas

Reading

I Know You Love Me by Felix Brow-Westbrook

read by Eli Denby Wood

Musical Reflection

Chimes

Composed and performed by Eli Denby Wood

This is a special selection because its only been performed 3 times. The first time Felix was in attendance at a small showing in support of Eli and their music. Eli and Felix held a mutual respect for each other's work, and supported each other in their artistic endeavors, both together and apart. The next 2 times this song was performed was at memorial services for Felix.

Eulogy

Musical Reflection

There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far
Very far
Over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he

And then one day
A magic day he passed my way
And while we spoke of many things
Fools and kings
This he said to me
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return

The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return

Nature Boy

by Nat King Cole

This selection was chosen by Felix's friend Zak. It's a song Felix loved, and Zak, a professional singer, would frequently sing it for him.

Sibling Reflections

No life can be fully told by one person. There are facts, but there are also impressions, memories, feelings. This afternoon, Felix’ siblings will share some personal reflections about their brother.

Frankie Parise

Lillian Parise

Rebekah Parise

One cannot write how grieved one is nor find any comfort. It is a grief that will last and which I certainly never forget as long as I live; the only thing one might say is that he himself has the rest he was longing for... Life was such a burden to him; but now as often happens, everyone is in praise of his talents... Oh Mother, he was my own, own brother.

Theo Van Gogh

Musical Reflection

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

Don McLean

Vincent

by Don McLean sung by Rebekah Parise

This song was chosen by Felix's sister Rebekah after watching the movie Loving Vincent with him. This quote sums up the selection.

In many ways he reminds me of the famous artist Vincent van Gogh. He had many difficulties and he always expressed them through his passionate works of art.
Rebekah Parise

Reflection

Henry David Thoreau journal entry read by Patrick Gallagher

On the death of a friend, we should consider that the fates through confidence have devolved on us the task of a double living- that we have henceforth to fulfill the promise of our friend’s life also, in our own, to the world

Reflections by Patrick Gallagher

Original Composition

composed and performed by Patrick Gallagher

Open Sharing

Elizabeth has asked for time in our service today for those among you so moved to offer a short memory or brief words for the family.

There will be time in the days and weeks and months to come to continue sharing stories about Felix and the life he lived.

Meditation/Prayer

Closing Words

Music

Give me water
Give me rainfall
For I can't wash away
The thoughts of you around me

Hayley Westenra

Malena

Malena by Ennio Morricone was chosen because the sorrowful music evokes feelings of "what could have been," of potential lost. Music Director and organist Sean Mayes adapted it for organ for the memorial which created a powerful experience.