World Breastfeeding Week 2013: What You Can Do Today

Today is the last day of World Breastfeeding Week 2013. I'm sad because I feel like I didn't do much this year. Like my other post on WBW, I am submitting this to Mothering's "Blog About Breastfeeding" contest. But still, I feel I should do more.

This year's theme, Breastfeeding Support: Close to Mothers, is an especially important one for me to take action on because I am a breastfeeding counselor. The time is now for me to establish myself as a breastfeeding counselor in my new home in New York after moving a few months ago.

In addition to action I can take as a breastfeeding counselor, I am creating this blog post with ideas that others can implement to support breastfeeding.

5 Simple Ways to Support Breastfeeding Today

1) Support
As a breastfeeding counselor in a new area, I pledge to investigate local areas to hold monthly Gatherings to support breastfeeding mothers. I will also look for ways I can reach low-income families, such as at food pantries and WIC offices. I will contact Nursing Mother's Council to get my contact information updated.

For others who are not breastfeeding counselors, a suggestion would be to attend a local breastfeeding support group. It is very meaningful for new and expectant mothers to hear the experiences of more experienced mothers.

2) Boycott
I have been boycotting Nestle for around 14 years for their violation of the WHO Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes. It is not always easy because they own a lot of different things, and they buy and sell other companies. So, occasionally I still mess up and accidentally buy Nestle. I pledge to check the most current Nestle boycott information for World Breastfeeding Week.

Joining the Nestle boycott is an important way to participate in World Breastfeeding Week. Even if you can't commit to full-time boycotting, you could boycott during key times such as World Breastfeeding Week, Halloween, and Easter.

3) Give
If you have friends and family expecting a baby, give a breastfeeding friendly baby gift. Books are an excellent choice. There are "how-to" books as well as children's books showing normal nursing.

For Parents:

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, 8th edition

Breastfeeding Made Simple: Seven Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers

The Nursing Mother's Companion, 6th edition

The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers

For Children:

We Like to Nurse

We Like to Nurse Too

What Baby Needs

If My Mom Were a Platypus: Mammal Babies and Their Mothers

Ruby's Baby Brother

4) Donate
World Breastfeeding Week is the perfect time to donate to an organization supporting breastfeeding. Some ideas are:

UNICEF

La Leche League

BACE-NMC

a local breastfeeding coalition such as Massachusetts Breastfeeding Coalition

Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine

World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action

United States Breastfeeding Committee

5) Share
Spread the word about World Breastfeeding Week, and the importance of breastfeeding. Share your story through social media and at support group meetings. Comment on blog posts such as this one, and share this and other breastfeeding posts through email and social media. Don't be afraid to talk about breastfeeding!

Let me know how you celebrated World Breastfeeding Week in my Comments.

The Importance of N.I.P (nursing in public)

Nursing Frankie at my pottery studio

There have been a couple of situations recently that have again started up dialogues and debates about nursing in public. They have both gotten media attention, and one sparked a nation-wide "nurse-in."

The first involved a college professor who brought her daughter to class on the first day because she was ill and had no child care options. She nursed her child during her feminist anthropology class, Sex, Gender and Culture, as one normally would throughout the course of the day.

This simple act created an uproar when a student tweeted negative comments about it during class. The school newspaper picked up the story, sensationalizing it into a major campus incident rather than life as usual for humans.

Some have claimed that they didn't have a problem with the baby nursing, but rather with the fact that a sick child was in class. If that were true, then why isn't it a news story each time a professor teaches class sick or students show up to class sick?

In Georgia, a mother nursed her baby at an Applebee's restaurant and was told by the manager that she needed to go to the bathroom or leave the restaurant. When the mother stated her right to nurse in public, the police were called. The police backed up the parents' statements of the law, but there is no punitive provision within the Georgia law.

Due to this humiliating and unfair treatment of this family by the Applebee's manager, a nation-wide nurse-in took place on Sept. 29, 2012. These peaceful protests went a long way towards raising awareness for breastfeeding.

These two stories shouldn't have to be stories at all.

The fact of the matter is that it is important to nurse in public, not to make a political statement, but to return nursing to the biological and cultural norm. There are many reasons why it is important to return to a culture where nursing children is just a normal part of life.

Nursing is normal:
I'm about to make a controversial statement... There are no benefits to breastfeeding. That's right, there are no benefits. How can there be benefits to a normal part of biology? We don't say, "There are benefits to using your body's own insulin." Instead, we say, "There are risks to being diabetic." It is important that nursing be viewed as normal.

When mothers separate themselves from the rest of society to nurse, it sends the message that they are doing something wrong. They send the message that they should be ashamed.

Nursing will only be viewed as normal when it is done wherever, whenever, as needed. The more it is seen, the less it will be sensationalized.


Nursing is a learned skill:
We are mammals, named for our mammary glands and defined, in part, by our ability to nurse our young. It is natural and instinctive, yet it is a learned skill. It is not the type of thing best learned by taking a class or reading a textbook. It is best learned by seeing it. Nursing needs to be seen in everyday life, not as clinical sketches.

Nursing is social:
Humans are social. We participate in many different activities to socialize. Eating is one of the biggest social activities we have. A baby should be able to nurse in a restaurant without sparking a national incident or starting a movement.

The argument has been made that because breasts are also sexual, it makes public nursing inappropriate. Well, mouths are sexual and are also used for eating, and yet public eating is not considered provocative.

It has to be something more. I clearly remember a Nurse Out celebration I hosted for World Breastfeeding Week. It had been going well all day with a lot of positive responses. Towards the end of the day, my 3 month old needed to nurse. I asked my sister to stay by the table display while I nursed him a few feet away on a blanket.

Shortly after I left the table, a grandmother, mother, and two kids got out of their car. The kids were naturally drawn the the poster with the two ice cream scoops with cherries on top. The grandmother came over to get the kids and express her disgust at the poster. She was offended by the poster vaguely representing breasts and said that we should not be promoting breastfeeding. She did not even notice that I was nursing a baby with my own real life breasts just a few feet away in plain view.

I have heard comments many times that whether or not any part of the breast is seen, it is the idea of it, of nursing, that is offensive.

When mothers are shamed and humiliated until they retreat to the bathroom, car, or their own home to nurse, they wean their babies earlier. Mothers need to continue to be part of society. Many mothers report feeling isolated after giving birth, and some mothers suffer from postpartum depression. It is important for mothers to be embraced, not shunned.

Nursing is ancient, nursing is modern:
If you could take a peek into an indigenous, hunter-gatherer culture you would see mothers nursing anywhere and everywhere, not held up in huts or on the outskirts of the village. Nursing would be infused in village life, yet not given a second glance.

Some people are put off by breastfeeding because they equate it with "primitive" life or something that's done in developing countries because they have no choice due to poverty.

The fact is that nursing is both ancient and modern. When we nurse our babies, we are honoring our ancestors. When we look to them for their wisdom, we are not regressing. We are only moving forward. Why re-invent the wheel? If we waste time trying to re-invent something that does not need re-inventing, we are wasting time.

In our busy modern culture time is more important than ever. Nursing helps us multi-task. It helps us to sit down for a minute and relax. It keeps kids and moms healthy, reducing time spent at the doctor or sick in bed.

Nursing is practical:
For some reason we have become a culture critical of mothers. The pressure on mothers is enormous. Anything that can make the blending of biological wisdom with modern lifestyle easier reduces this pressure.

The formula industry has worked hard to portray breastfeeding as difficult and inconvenient and bottle feeding as easy and convenient. But the fact is that nursing is much more convenient. It is essential to support nursing. Nursing becomes difficult when it is not supported. It becomes impractical when barriers and restrictions are imposed by an overly critical society.

What do you think? Does this post change your view on nursing in public? What are your stories, good or bad, of nursing in pubic?

Tips: Preparing To Breastfeed

As a breastfeeding mother and breastfeeding supporter I often get asked how to prepare for breastfeeding. Over the years there has been quite a bit of conflicting advice about what can be done to prepare, everything from rubbing the nipples with a piece of terry cloth to toughen them to nude sunbathing. Really nothing fancy needs to be done but there are a few, maybe unexpected, ways to prepare.


Here are a few tips I've learned along the way.


Surround yourself with other breastfeeding mothers

Breastfeeding is natural but it is still a "learned skill". It helps to see breastfeeding before and during your own breastfeeding experiences. If you don't know any breastfeeding mothers, attend a local La Leche League meeting. There is a well-know story about a gorilla raised in captivity in an Ohio zoo who was unable to nurse her firstborn because she didn't know how. When she was pregnant with her 2nd baby some local La Leche League breastfeeding mothers took turns nursing outside of her cage. She went on to successfully nurse her 2nd baby. It seems even for gorillas breastfeeding is a learned skill.



Keep a positive attitude

Many mothers say "I'm going to try to breastfeed" while they are still pregnant. This attitude sets them up for failure because it implies that there is reason to fail. Our bodies are designed to make milk. The primary reasons for breastfeeding difficulties are things we do to sabotage breastfeeding, whether we mean to or not. While pregnant say "I'm going to breastfeed". There is no reason to assume breastfeeding won't work.


Look for healthcare providers who don't distribute formula samples

Studies show that mothers are highly influenced by formula sample give-aways in hospitals and doctors' offices. This is precisely why the formula companies give away free samples. Look for a doctor or midwife who does not have these samples in his or her office. Choose a birth setting, whether at home, a birth center, or hospital, that does not have formula samples or logo items (name tags, growth charts, medical information fliers, etc). A hospital or birth center with "Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative" status is a good bet because there won't be free formula samples and they will have clear-cut breastfeeding policies and credible breastfeeding support.

Research Information and Consider Your Sources

It seems everybody has an opinion and advice about breastfeeding. With all the conflicting advice out there no advice can be taken at face value. Doctors and other healthcare providers are well trained when it comes to recognizing diseases and illness, but often lack training and knowledge in lactation. Don't be afraid to ask for more information. Find out what sort of training in lactation your doctor has. Ask if there is research or other evidence to back-up the advice. If research is cited find out more about it, especially if it was done by a formula company or if the information looks different when breastfeeding is considered the "norm" instead of formula. If advice doesn't seem right to you, such as being told to wean in order to take a certain medication, ask about alternatives or if a delay in treatment is possible.


Get at least One Good Book on Breastfeeding

It helps to have a book to refer to for any breastfeeding difficulties that arise, and also to read about variations in normal breastfeeding. It can be hard to navigate the many choices but if the book is published or approved by La Leache League then that will always be a good choice. La Leche League is the world's foremost authority on breastfeeding. Most LLL Groups have lending libraries too so that you can review a number of books to find which is best for you.

Why Attached Parenting is not Child-Centered, Helicopter Parenting

One of the biggest misconceptions about parenting practices that promote a high level of attachment is that they are overly-attentive, helicopter parenting practices. This isn't true... at least it shouldn't be.

This whole debate was really driven home to me recently when my family participated in a Discovery Health Channel show called Radical Parenting. My biggest fear was that we would come across as too "child-centered". I got increasingly nervous when I saw us described as the "overly-attentive" parents (Which was kinda funny considering just a couple of hours before I read that, my kids got on to my Facebook account and changed my status to things like "fart ooops" and "moo". So much for me being "overly-attentive"!).

The idea of not being "child-centered", as described in The Continuum Concept, is a bit difficult to show, or even explain, on a show like Radical Parenting. It is much easier for us to come across as "child-centered" and "overly-attentive".

In reality, there is some truth in all of this. Like many parents practicing Attachment Parenting, and even Continuum Concept parenting, we've found it all too easy to slip into being too child-centered in some respects. The chances of this happening seem to increase as children get older. I was just telling my husband the other day that parenting is so much easier when they're babies, when needs and wants are the same, and taking care of them is more straight-forward.

For me, some of the ways my family has slipped into being too child-centered are not having a babysitter in 11 years, sometimes slipping into conditional parenting, intervening too often in my children's interactions or while they are struggling to do something, and being either too authoritarian or too permissive rather than a confident authoritative middle ground.

If you haven't read The Continuum Concept yet this article by Jean Liedloff is a good starting point for grasping the concept of "child-centered": Who's in Control?

There seem to be many factors involved in becoming child-centered. One is that, for some parents, practicing the individual practices themselves is seen as Continuum Concept parenting. In other words, some may think it is enough to breastfeed, co-sleep, babywear, etc without considering how they practice each of these. The idea isn't to do specific things that this hunter-gatherer tribe or another have practiced. The idea is to find the essence of the overall parenting, the parts that are human nature, and figure out how to make that work for your family.

Take breastfeeding for example, of course, any amount of breastfeeding is great and any amount of breastmilk is great, but there are some mothers who breastfeed in a more "clinical" way, or in ways that interrupt the continuum. These practices tend to derail breastfeeding and shorten the length of time a baby is breastfed, not to mention often cause the mother to feel resentment towards her baby.

As Dr. Jack Newman says in his handout Colic in the Breastfed Baby, "Mothers all over the world have breastfed babies successfully without being able to tell time. Breastfeeding problems are greatest in societies where everyone has a watch and least where no one has a watch.". Timed feedings are not in line with the Continuum Concept and are responsible for a whole host of difficulties for both mother and baby. Often, when these problems occur, breastfeeding itself is blamed rather than the style of breastfeeding.

Another breastfeeding example is leaving public or social situations to breastfeed. Now I am not suggesting that every mother needs to breastfeed in public even if she is uncomfortable with it. I am a huge supporter of breastfeeding in public however.

When mothers repeatedly leave social situations to nurse their babies they give the impression they are doing something wrong. It isn't pleasant for the baby, and it is even more unpleasant for the mother. People are social creatures.

This type of isolation while breastfeeding is similar to the idea that each nursing session needs to be elevated to a lofty,"quality time", bonding moment. Initially mothers may find it more comfortable to nurse only in bed, a rocking chair, or heaped high with pillows, but eventually breastfeeding should happen whenever and wherever.

Every breastfeeding moment doesn't need to be a special moment either. Some of my best mothering memories are related to breastfeeding, but after a combined 13 years of breastfeeding and counting, not every breastfeeding moment is a memory. Candlelit dinners are nice too, but if every meal was candlelit then none of them would stand out as being special.

Sadly, I've also heard mothers talk about breastfeeding as if they were doing jail time. They talk about breastfeeding for only the "prescribed" amount of time, counting down the days until they can wean the baby cold turkey. This is not only an example of anti Continuum Concept breastfeeding, but it is unhealthy for mother and baby.

By contrast, treating breastfeeding as part of everyday family life is in line with Continuum Concept Principles. It is more of a family focused approach, rather than being child-centered. Babies want to be welcomed into family and societal life, not be separated from it and relegated to special "baby times".

Nursing can happen on cue, infused throughout the day. I am often asked in media interviews and pediatrician appointments how often I nurse. This becomes a creative improvisational exercise as I struggle to guess. Honestly, I have absolutely no idea. Why should I?

I also don't have any idea how long my child will nurse before weaning. I know that there is a biological weaning age range of between 2 and 7 years, and I know that the worldwide average age of weaning is over 4 years old, so I figure it will fall somewhere in there.

I plan a lot of parenting events and meetings and one thing that always strikes me as odd is when parents say they can't come to something because it is during "nap time". I don't find it odd because I think they are odd or bad parents. I find it odd because I don't think that way, at least not anymore. I don't have a designated time when I cease all other activities and put the baby to sleep, requiring silence throughout the house. Sure, if I'm home I'll put the baby to sleep when he shows signs of being tired at roughly the same time everyday, but often he just falls asleep in the sling.

I would never not do something just because it is around nap time. When my daughter Bekah was a baby she came to work with me at my busy paint-your-own pottery store. The busier the store was, the better she slept. She loved to be amongst the sounds of activity in the store.

I also practice Elimination Communication (EC), which is often misunderstood as being overly-attentive. EC involves responding to signs (squirming, fussing, gas, etc) that your baby needs to pee or poop by holding him or her over a toilet or potty. Many people think that this will involve hyper attentiveness and that caregivers will need to quit their jobs to stand ever vigilant day and night by their little bundle of joy. In reality, EC is no more difficult than noticing when your child is hungry or sleepy.

The nonprofit EC support organization, DiaperFreeBaby, lists being "family focused" amongst the many benefits of EC. Being family focused means that it follows the interests and needs of the entire family and is integrated into family life rather than making it a separate child-centered event.

When EC turns into "early potty training" instead, it can become child-centered. This happens when it is viewed as behavioral, something your child does to please you or to get a reward. It happens when there are set expectations on when a child will be potty trained, and the goal is early potty training. It also happens when it is done at only prescribed times, or "practice" sessions (which is different from part-time practice only at certain times, for example, only on weekends) instead of looking for cues.

EC more in line with AP and Continuum Concept parenting would be practiced without the goal of toilet independence at an early age in mind, with pottying on cue, and with the entire practice treated matter-of-factly. This article that I wrote for Infant Pottying Today sums up how I feel about practicing EC.

One of the most vocal critics of EC over the years has been Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, though he actually supports EC when done in the gentle, respectful way that groups like DiaperFreeBaby advocate. His toilet training method, which came about to counteract the punitive methods of earlier in the 20th century, is touted as being "child-centered".

So, basically, EC and other AP or Continuum Concept practices are criticized for both being too child-centered and not child-centered enough. How can that be? I think it just all boils down to a lack of understanding, both by observers making assumptions about AP practices and sometimes by parents as they struggle to apply AP concepts in a culture that's not always supportive.

This blog will focus a lot on the concept of being child-centered versus family focused. I find that is one of the most difficult aspects of Continuum Concept parenting in a modern culture to understand, and even harder to apply.