Saturday, December 29, 2018

Sibling Reflections: Rebekah






Felix always went out of his way to make all of us happy and to spend time with us. Whenever he would come over after he had moved out, he would be greeted at the door with little voices saying "Felix, can you draw me a picture!" "Felix draw with me!" And without protest, in fact happily, he would sit with us for hours and draw just about whatever we asked him to. We all cherished the time he would spend with us and were in awe of our big brother's talent. Sometimes I would bring his drawings to school so I could brag about how cool of a brother I had. We would also paint together and he showed me techniques and one of the things that is most dear to me is a painting we worked on together.



Felix and I have had a lot of adventures together. From the Cherry Blossom festival in Washington DC to trips back to Concord. When I went to apply to boarding schools, he took me to all my interviews and when I went to programs at MIT, Felix literally ran around the whole campus to make sure I got to every class. He would also tell me about the building's architecture with excitement. Felix and I became really close because of our trips together.








I was there with him the night before he passed. I held his hand and ran my fingers over his to try and comfort him. As I did, he started to do the same, as if to comfort me as well. Even in the moments he needed the most comfort, he still tried to give some back and that just says so much about him as a brother and person in general. Throughout his treatment he remained positive and did not cry in front of any of us. He always said he was doing okay because he didn't want anyone to worry.





In many ways he reminds me of the famous artist Vincent van Gogh. He had many difficulties and he always expressed them through his passionate works of art. When he passed I was reminded of a quote by Vincent van Gogh's brother, Theo van Gogh. It expresses my grief so well that when I say these words, I feel like they are mine. The quote reads:





One cannot write how grieved one is nor find any comfort. It is a grief that will last and which I certainly never forget as long as I live; the only thing one might say is that he himself has the rest he was longing for... Life was such a burden to him; but now as often happens, everyone is in praise of his talents... Oh Mother, he was my own, own brother.

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